I sometimes think I was born to lose everything
I feel I waste more time looking for “things”
Than anybody else, in the great wide world
I’ve been a smoker for years
And I never lose my cigarettes
But my lighter?
I can’t seem to keep it
I seem to put it down in the most unusual places
And you would think I’d have more than one
But, no
I only have the one
And, as of right now
As I type this out
I can’t remember where I left it
So my perfectly rolled smoke
Lies dorment and unlit
In my lonely ashtray
I bet I’ll spend the next ten minutes
Searching for that light blue Bic
And, as always, when I do find it
It will be in a place
(Any number of places)
That which little Bic lighters
Are never really suppose to be
© Dicky J Loweman 2015
Perahps you need to brush up on your pyrokinesis skills. It takes some time to master but once you got it down it comes in handy for all sorts of things, not just lighting cigarettes.
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Just be careful where you practice it. I tried it once while in between a gas station and taco bell…wow…bad idea.
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Yeah, I was told those tacos go up like a brushfire in high wind.
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they’re even more flammable once they’ve made it through your digestive track.
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Yeah, I know. But I still secretly need it from time to time. And I smoke. It’s a wonder I’m still here.
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one foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel…or should I say taco bell wrapper?
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One foot, my ass. I’m waist deep and the grave is filled with quicksand and Taco Bell.
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I suppose there are worse ways to die…although i cannot think of too many worse ways at the moment. In WI taco bell mixed their meat with bull sperm. It was kind of sticky but not bad.
I haven’t smoked in about 7 years but even then I only smoked when I drank. oh…so like a lot. I do have a weakness for clove cigarettes though. It’s a nostalgia thing.
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Well, I hope the bull sperm thing was just a Wi thing…And I can’t do cloves. Too harsh on my lungs. That says a lot coming from a guy who rolls his own.
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I know they’re terrible for you. I don’t buy them or seek them out but if I smell one I have to have one. It reminds me of my days in Florida. I’m actually (in spite of the drinking) am a bit of a health nut. I abused my body enough when I was young so have to try to make up for it in some way. Still waiting for all that shit to catch up with me. Incidentally all my favorite people in the world seem to be smokers.
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Health nut? Oh, no. Don’t you know how bad that is for you??? And go figure, all your good friends are smokers, while nearly none of mine are. Maybe we need to get together and swap friends?
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Yup I drink wheat grass and kombucha and all that shit. I don’t think I could give up my friends no matter how much smoke has been blown in my face. I’m sure you’d get along with my friends though. They are a cool bunch. Well most of them.
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I might still trade mine
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I have a couple I’m willing to give up. Although those might be the non smokers.
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But do the complain? See, that’s my job. I don’t have a lot of time for more of “me”.
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Oh I’ve got a complainer for ya.
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Oh?
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This is a friend of yours?
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yup, I don’t mind some complaining if its done in a humorous way. YOu have to know how to make your bitching entertaining.
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Well, yes. I find my bitching to be very entertaining. As far as whether or not anyone else does? No fucking clue. Other people’s opinions are generally not high on my priority list. At least not when I’m bitching.
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Bitching is a rather selfish act, opinions are rather unwelcome unless it’s full agreement and/or sympathy…or better yet “here have a shot”
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Actually, I very much agree. Wait, what kind of shot?
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Good question. I was originally thinking maybe whiskey or tequila. But some morphine in the ass wouldn’t be bad either.
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Yeah. Nothing says “good times” like a shot in your ass. Make mine the whiskey. Me + tequila = bad things (which I won’t remember).
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Yeah I don’t know why tequila makes some people mean. It takes a lot to make me mean. It’s usually a person never a substance.
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It’s not a mean thing. I just get really horny. So unless you want to spend a night being groped and hastled, I suggest we shot the whiskey;)
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LOL!!! That’s way better than some of the past experiences I’ve had with men and tequila. At least I’ll be running for my virtue and not my life. One of those I’m more willing to give up than the other.
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Well, fear not. You won’t have to run from me. By the time I get to the groping stage, I’m usually at a crawl. A stagger at best.
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You’re too funny. I wasn’t worried I figured I could outrun you anyway since I’m not a smoker. 😜
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Lol. So true, so true. I don’t usually run from or for anything. Just cops and crazy women.
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I’ve never ran from the cops, I was too inebriated to even consider it. I have ran from an FBI officer once and the flying fists of a crazy woman.
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I’ve never had to run from an FBI officer. If they’re after me, I think I’d just give up. Running from the cops is easy, however. I mean when compared to the crazy women. I’d take the cops any day.
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Yup the FBI won’t leave you alone if they want you. The officer and I had a good laugh about it later. As I always say, no bodies, no crime, and he agreed.
Mmm…but cops have tasers. Actually any run in I’ve had with police they have always been really cool. I noticed if you’re polite they tend to leave you alone or let you off with a warning. Unless you are a black male, then you’re screwed.
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Yeah, I’ve found the same thing. I have also never been tased. And I have plans for it in the near future. Enough drinks and I’m usually plenty tased as it is.
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I watched a friend get tased. Doesn’t look like fun.
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God, no.
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Bonfires, forest fires, house fires…Oh, the list grows
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