lonely

Anatomy Of Conflict

The rhetoric

You said I was

A grave threat to our relationship

You say how I lash out

Without credibility

And often attack without warning

I say I’m provoked

The response

Always the same

We pledge to spend more time together

I think this is a bad idea

I think it’s what has led us to this point

The reaction

You get very concerned about us

About our time spent together

So I tend to spend more time away

More time alone

More time with just my thoughts

Whether or not we’ll make it

Make this work

I don’t see how we can

© Dicky J Loweman 2014

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Time Wasters

Lighting matches, one by one

Just to watch them burn

Time

Can be your best friend

Or your worst enemy

It all depends on if you have it

And if it chooses to stay on your side

occasional glances

Watching the people come and go

Up to the bar and order

The countless rum and cokes, whiskey shots and beers

That’s when I saw her

Twisting her hair, rolling a smoke between fingers

Wasting time, just like I’m doing

What’s your story?

I wonder

But then it’s time, again

Time takes a hold and I remember the matches

Thank you, girl

For wasting my time

And so I return

And strike another match

Just to watch it burn

 

Reciprocity

Oh this mutual

And cooperative interchange

Of favors and certain privileges

Given up in exchange for exclusive deeds

Deeds to be had

And done unto you

You do this to me again and again

Strong willed

I’ll stand alone on my ground

A mutual exchange

I can’t think that’s possible anymore

I can’t think that way

For you see

You have to give to receive

It’s all about giving back

And you give nothing

Last Step

The way the storms come

It turns the sea

Like a piece of paper in high winds

I wait patiently, for you

In the top of the old lighthouse

I watch you on the bluff below

your white gown flowing

Your hair whipped into a frenzy

One more time, you glance up to me

Then one last step

And over the edge

Fear

You are the one I fear

The one who keeps me alive

You are every inhale

Every exhaust

The one who keeps me guessing

You are the one who drives me to drink

You are the drug that makes my imagination possible

From which nightmares are born

And from which all you read

Please come home

Please come back

I miss the fear

 

Forgotten Girl

You’re buried in an old forgotten place

I like to think I’m your only visitor

I tidy you up a bit

clear away all that’s unwanted

Then go around and pick up all the dead flowers scattered around

And lay them by your feet

A bed of roses for you, my dear

Just so you know

While you may be buried in an old forgotten place

You are not forgotten

© Dicky j Loweman 2014

Lock-Down

Lock-down is for thinking

A constant reminder
That we really aren’t good
Not good at all, really
And the reasons?
oh, too many to tell
Some like me, for concoctions
Some like Big Al, for meth
Or was it coke?
Some just like to steal
Lie, punish, hurt, burn
Or even abuse
The reasons are countless
I’m thinking
But, alas, I can’t say
For it’s lock-down, I think
© Dicky J Loweman 2014