My word
Against yours
Long nights of no giving in
lost hours with nothing being said
No smiles
Only anger
Subtle sighs
*
Your move
Not mine
Your mind has been made up
Your decision is to move on
Wordless thoughts
Never spoken
No Goodbye
*
Sitting alone
Empty house
Only memories stir in this place
Nights are long and colder now
Empty rooms
Empty thoughts
Empty heart
© D J Loweman 2015
It’s been a bit of a rough morning
I didn’t sleep well
I was blessed by god, with a broken back
Not truly broke, but not in good working order
These damaged nerves, sciatica is to blame
So I spent the morning hobbling around
Aided by an often needed cane
Finally, I succumb to the pain
And down some Advil
These little helpers who will tear at my gut all day long
Last night I made plans for today
I was going to ride my bike
To a recently discovered marsh
I had planned on spending the whole day exploring, writing
And drinking some wine
I get so excited about these new finds
That I pace my house all night
But, as it often goes
My back doesn’t feel like cooperating
I’m left bent and only a shade from crippled
So while the meds kick in, I wonder around, looking for something
Anything, to waste my time
I finally decide on reading yesterdays mail
I skim past the bills and useless realtor sales pitches
Until I come across a hand written envelope
Addressed from a friend, and sent from the CCWF
A friend, who I haven’t seen or heard from
In a painfully long time
They caught her in ’09
trafficking, they said
She loved the pills
So much so, that I have trouble believing
She would ever give them up
Yet alone sell them
But they got her
And she’s been parked in Chowchilla, California
Pretty much ever since
I had trouble reading it
She was the last person I expected
I would be catching up with, this morning
She wrote of how she had been
And how she was sorry she hadn’t written sooner
She writes of our times camping and hiking
And how she hopes I’m still at it
Finally, she closes with a line
About how she would like to hear from me
She still has a long time, ahead of her
And I wish I could speed that up
After I finish the letter
I make my way to the typewriter
I sit down, and put in a piece of paper
But nothing comes to mind
Too many things to say
And all this causes more discomfort
So I get up, without thinking
Grab the backpack I packed last night
And head out to the marsh
I need to clear my head
And cloud it, all at the same time
She would enjoy this spot
I just know it
And I’ll finish my letter to her
By telling her, how we’ll see it together
When she gets out
Sometime after 2029
© Dicky J Loweman 2015
The area we’re in is green
Tree’s everywhere
Ain’t it just like a hospital?
To try to make you feel calm?
Who here is calm?
Nobody wants to be here
It’s only one peg above a funeral parlor
But, do your best
The best you can to keep it under control
Your temper, is all up to you
Straight
Straight and narrow
No drinks
No fun
Just wait for the prognosis
And hope for the best
There’s hope left in that
© Dicky J Loweman 2104
wind stripped mountain side
harsh-faced and filled with sadness
howls from the stone
© Dicky J Loweman 2014
I walk down the street and the ugliness is everywhere
It drips from the trees and belches in exhaust form from the cars
I can hear small chatter from passer-by’s
Their quiet squawks are going to be the death of me
I’d like to kick them square in the face
For what it’s worth, I’d like to leave this place
Find a deserted beach or maybe a desolate mountain top
This, of coarse, is just a crack pipe dream
There really is just no way out
Stuck here
To wither, spin and slowly dissolve
Breaking away from any chance of a sound piece of mind
Like a dock being ripped from the shore during a storm
This place is like a slow cancerous death
A beast that grows and torments from the inside out
Slowly eating at my brain and causing this mind-numbing hatred
I believe this is what drives men to kill
This makes for a very long and lonely walk
I walk down the street and the ugliness is everywhere
© Dicky J Loweman 2014
